Salary Survey Extra: Inspired by the little drummer girl

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Who could forget the adorable drummer girl who challenged Dave Grohl to a drum battle?The world can seem like a dark and cynical place, especially in a year like the 2020 that many of us lived through, but few would choose to experience again. And yet, even when you’re weak and weary, and everything seems midnight dreary, and you’re starting to check over your shoulder for a supernatural carrion fowl croaking, “Nevermore” — even then there’s always the possibility of something totally cool turning up next. Life is funny like that.

In 2020, it was funny like a 10-year-old drummer girl from Ipswich, the positively adorable Nandi Bushell, whose enthusiasm and energy lit up Twitter and YouTube so utterly that when she issued a challenge to rock drummer Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters and Nirvana … the legendary skins basher actually picked up her gauntlet.

As Grohl said in a New York Times interview, “I watched (her) in amazement, not only because she was nailing all of the parts, but the way that she would scream when she did her drum rolls. There’s something about seeing the joy and energy of a kid in love with an instrument. She just seemed like a force of nature.”

The proof of Bushell’s dream coming true is immortalized on the interwebs for all to see (courtesy on Bushell’s YouTube channel, of course). Last year, when we were putting together the Salary Survey, we got to the part at the end where it’s time for those Not So Serious questions and we thought: If a 10-year-old Bushell from Blighty can speak her wish into existence, what else might be possible? What other grand aspirations could blossom into soul-healing reality?

The dream of every individual’s heart is different, of course, and we couldn’t have hoped to fathom the actual secret wishes of so many certified IT professionals. So we dreamed up a few Nandi Bushell-like scenarios and offered a choice. Which one would you find most appealing?

Here’s what we learned:

Q: Now that an adorable 10-year-old girl from the United Kingdom challenged Dave Grohl to a drum battle on Twitter and actually got him to respond, my next move is to …

Challenge J.K. Rowling to tell her fans that actually it was Harry and Hermione who ended up together — 13 percent
Challenge LeBron James to become player-owner of my favorite NBA team — 7.4 percent
Challenge Girls’ Generation to make #ClimateChangeIsReal trend on Twitter — 9.6 percent
Challenge Édgar Ramírez to have coffee with me in Paris — 4.8 percent
Challenge Alia Bhatt to replace Paul Hollywood on The Great British Bake Off — 5.2 percent
Challenge Jeff Bezos to rewrite his will and leave me a controlling interest in Amazon — 60 percent

OK, so we’re not all that surprises that there are a whole lot of people out there who would like to replace Jeff Bezos (should he return from outer space0) (once he gets there) as the majority shareholder at Amazon. It is interesting that so many of you are convinced that you would outlive Jeff Bezos by a sufficient number of years to both receive your inheritance and enjoy its rewards.

The fact that J.K. Rowling got the second-most attention from survey respondents supports our long-held belief that nobody nowhere actually agrees with Rowling that Hermione and Ron Weasley are a satisfactory romantic coupling. You know when the readers can tell that something is right and true, and the author gets cranky about who’s really in charge here and writes something just to flout expectations? I think we all know what happened here.

It would seem that K-pop really, truly is the world-shaping force that could maybe probably save the planet from the worst impulses of its inhabitants. Or maybe there are just a lot of Girl’s Generation stans out there who don’t care what the message is as long at the first ladies of K-pop are driving the conversation.

And while certified IT professionals don’t tend to line up with the broad stereotypes of sports fandom, the thought of LeBron James leading [Your favorite NBA team here] to glory is apparently more appealing than the thought of Édgar Ramirez or Alia Bhatt doing anything.

So that’s wealth and power first, Harry Potter second, K-pop third, sports fandom fourth, and movie stars last. Got it. Thank you for helping us to establish the new world order. We’ll convey your message to the Powers That Be.

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CertMag Staff

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Certification Magazine was launched in 1999 and remained in print until mid-2008. Publication was restarted on a quarterly basis in February 2014. Subscribe to CertMag here.

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